Originally Posted by Ceoli
For one thing, those boundaries they are referring to are usually invisible and constantly shifting with the comfort level of the other partner. But even more fundamentally, I have no desire to enter into a relationship where my feelings of love are assessed in terms of what threat those feelings could pose to the other partner. It means I have to structure my relationship around the insecurities of another relationship.
Wow Ceoli ... very well said. I am struggling now with on again/off again with a man that is at the mercy of our partner. At first his partner was uncomfortable and we had to go on hiatus; now my partner is having meltdowns. I am very frustrated about the entire thing and it is becoming painfully obvious that my and my partner of 9 years have a whole bunch of shit to work on if I am ever going to have happy healthy poly relationships.
Not structuring your relationships around the insecurities of other relationships ... I am so glad you have found this place of freedom to love and be loved naturally!