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Old 09-04-2010, 01:40 AM
fayeelizibeth's Avatar
fayeelizibeth fayeelizibeth is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 5

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
A thought then, if this guy has been in a relationship with everyone he has had sex with then this might of been scary, as you say... poor dude, doesn't he know that he can explore and be independent and still have a girlfriend... oh our world is so mono
i say this all the time, "poor 'D'"! not just for this, but for his past relationships. i don't like to jump to conclusions, but the way he describes it, he's been used in the past. and i really really really don't want him to feel like i'm using him (for sex, for poly 'experimentation', what-have-you) cuz i'm definitely NOT, i genuinely like him as a person. but that 'baggage' 'damage' whatever you call it is still following him around. any way to deal with that on my end? not make those feelings disappear for him, obviously, just reassure that i'm not going to that.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Keeping up with a friendship sounds like the best bet for now. At least he will eventually realize that you don't feel cheapened and that you are glad to be his friend...
that's what i'm trying to do, be a good friend...kinda hang out in the sidelines and let him know i care about him and i'm here, and hope that he may 'come around' at some point; trying not to get my hopes too high, but hey, stranger things have happened!

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
if he gets a girlfriend I bet he disappears into mono land, like the good mono he is, cause mono men aren't allowed (or don't want due to the fact that their girlfriends might be jealous) to have female friends.
tee hee. i read this as a little sarcastic, but i have definitely had this happen to me on a platonic level with guys i was friends with and when they got girlfriends they went *poof* in fact, a guy i was friends with started dating my sister, and i almost never talk to him anymore, even though we live in the same apartment complex. so i know what you mean. and i also know that not all mono men are like that, but it is a pattern i have seen.

i also want to say thank you for all the responses! it's been great getting this feedback from people who have a bit more experience with this than me! thank you (and you all) again!
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