For the record, they are honest questions, not sarcasm or judgements. I have not really thought much about metamours, as I have been lucky that the people I have engaged with, in a metamour way, were naturally people I liked, and they liked me. Usually that leads to befriending or more, of it`s own accord.
I won`t have a relationship with someone whos significant other objects to me. That is probably why it has worked out this way for me thus far.
When I said 'the same as other areas of my life' I meant that I tend to get a feel for peoples boundaries and am concious of that, weither its a friend, or something else. Being conscientious of the effects my actions have on others, is something done in more then just the poly world.
As for the rest, not sure what to tell you. I dont think a relationship is what it takes to respect people. I run more along the line of knowing up front where everyone stands, and if something doesn`t gel for all of us,..we don`t have to be in the relationship, period. If the person is not someone I would normally be friends with, then I don`t see a need to connect with them on a a regular basis.
Of course if something cropped up down the road, they are free to talk to me, or explain whats going on. Its not a closed door.
Maybe I am missing something here, not sure. I am just basing it on experience, and that experience hasn`t proven me wrong yet.
I`ll keep reading, but for right now, I`m not sure why it seems to come across as a 'neccessity' rather then something that people are either naturally drawn to, or they aren`t. Not all relationships need to follow the same model.