I thought of. I guess I am trying to get to a point if we are monogamous because we WANT to be....that that is the only thing that makes sense, or because of fear. Fear as it concerns ourselves, fear as it concerns the other. I don't wan to tell her No, you can't do this. I don't want her to tell me No, I can't do something. Ya know?! That is where I struggle the most, as I don't WANT her to fall in love with someone else, I want her to only feel overwhelming love for me, but I don't want her to feel that she has to force herself to only have feelings for me.
I can definitely say that polyamory does not come natural to me in that i can't see myself with just one person for the rest of my life. I can! I am not like some I read where that 'C' (comergence?? i don't remember) word just comes naturally - that it just makes sense that I love other people and want my partner to love other people. More power to ya. I could consider myself attracted to the idea of polyamory as I did fall for someone while being with my partner, but we had been very distant and had problems, so I can't honestly say I fell for this other female because I am able to love 2 people at once and it wasnt because I was lonely and missing something. I told my partner immediately when me and this woman acknowledged our feelings for each other. We never acted on them.