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Old 09-03-2010, 06:35 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

I seem to have a different take that Ari.

oh dear do I ever recognize this story.

It's called too much too fast.

there is a saying I like to keep in mind, "women have sex to become friends, men become friends to have sex." Okay, it's a total generalization, but I think this guy just wanted to see what it would be like to fuck you and that was it for him. If he had a crush on you, he was living a dream and perhaps you were too. Nothing wrong with that, but it could be.

He either chose to mistake "poly" for "open" in relationship style, or just realized after that you aren't what he is looking for and is now content to text until you become disinterested or he gets horny again and wants to get laid. *edit after reading next post*-or maybe he just can't quite get that you could mean something special to him if you are married and committed. Mono means all to oneself, if that is what he is used to and desires he has some heavy decisions to make.

Sorry, this sounds so negative and maybe it is, but if you think about it, and put your feelings aside, perhaps you can see that casual one off sex is really quite normal and typical for a lot of men... and women, but mostly men. I don't know when you dated last, but this is kinda the usual. Perhaps this is what he is used to and all he expects.

Ya, I would pack it up and move on and learn from the experience. Next time, I would wait to have sex. If I really want to have a relationship with someone else, then I would wait and just spend time with them, see how it pans out a bit first, see if they are serious and are willing to educate themselves to poly first or at least talk more about it with you and others.

Your backing away might make him realize that he really wants you in his life and will step up with some thoughts. If nothing else, it would truly be backing away and giving him time. I think if it were me I would let him know that I am here, but giving him space and he can get a hold of you if and when he's ready.
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