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Old 09-03-2010, 12:17 AM
fayeelizibeth's Avatar
fayeelizibeth fayeelizibeth is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 5

Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post

Umm this is all new right? Imagine being mono for a second. Meeting someone and talking about marriage and living together? You might want to scale back your desires a bit and get with the dating first.

You poly family idea is something that should probably be discussed with D when D is actually dating you. Just my thought.

When I was "single" if a girl started bringing up moving in and marriage...well thats just crazy talk.
oh, i know; i wasn't talking to him about being with "him" personally at the time, more of a, we were talking about poly and what that means and i was telling him that to me i would want 'someone' moving in with me and B 'someday'. but i see how that may have been a bit much, and i should hold off on that, at least for a while...

Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
does he like you that way after having shared some time with you?
it seems he does. the few days after the sex he was very complimentary, and sweet, and still is, just without the sexual component that is said he is not ready for. which i respect (although i am a just a bit sad about that; it was really good sex - but seriously, i respect his decision to not just have sex without thinking about his emotional response, i think it is very responsible and mature of him (he's 24, i don't think most 24 year old men would be that emotionally aware, although i may be wrong))

Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
He has asked you to give him time, leave it at that for now. Don't push. If its really bugging you...and in a couple of weeks really tearing at you, maybe write a letter explaining your desire to date and be in a relationship with him. However you want to phrase it. But some people don't like that kind of pressure
its the patience! i don't have it in abundance i'm trying not to pressure him though, while keeping him aware of my interest in a more peripheral sense. and being his friend, because through all of this, i still want to be friends with him even if he does decide the relationship isn't for him.

Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Thanks again for sharing. Patience is one of my least favorite topics ever. Its also one I have had to learn the most over the last few months. Its been...interesting

i have the problems with patience too. i want what i want, and i want it now! it's not my best quality, but i'm trying to be 'good' with him, because i really don't want to mess this up if i can avoid it. and besides, patience is a good quality to have, and i know that. so i'm trying to work on it .

thank you so much for reading and responding! i appreciate it sooooooo much! there are so few people who i can talk to about this who really understand, so just thank you, thank you, thank you!
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