sometimes life just hits you all at once. There's only so much stress your body can deal with all day every day before something has to give. I'm glad that you're recognizing that you need someone to talk to, someone you can lean on. Try being honest with your friends. Tell them that you don't have everything all together and that you're just as messed up and confused as they are.
I'm currently coming off meds too. life ganged up on me last year and it took me a good long time to figure out what the issues were and to work through them. I never got to the point of thinking of suicide but I wasn't functioning AT ALL. I didn't go and seek help for me, I did it because my kids needed their mom and I wasn't there for them.
You aren't alone. Depression is very common but it is treatable. Go and talk to someone about what the best course of action is in your case. The feeling of being alone even when surrounded by people resonates with me. I felt that way too, like I was looking at life from a distance, totally detached from it. I am healing and feeling like I have connections and enjoyment back in my life. I hope that the same can happen for you.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.