I understand. I am the wife of a cardiac patient - mother of 4 kids, and when my husband had 2 heart attacks last fall... (fuck the anniversary of the first one is coming up on Wed) I had to be strong. I couldn't show weakness. I had to be the rock. I had to be there for everyone else - and every time I tried to tell people what I was going through and what I needed... I was met with "but he survived, you should be grateful for that"
Being that strong for so long makes you brittle. Eventually you'll break without an outlet.
Drugs, therapy, exercise, eating healthy and a year later I'm stronger and able to work through my issues *relatively* quickly.
I'm no longer on anti-depressants - they just kept me from killing myself when I couldn't handle everything.
Your feelings are valid. It is OK for you to be sad, depressed, upset, angry and frustrated. You have that right. As the "strong" one, we tend to think that we CAN'T talk to anyone - that we HAVE to keep it inside.
I've learned that if I don't - the breaking point comes... but if I do, I can bend and sway and come out of what's going on much stronger.