Make friends with your monster. Give him or her a name and ask her what she is trying to tell you. Get some solitude when she surfaces and write down what she's telling you. Then work on what she says with the other parties concerned. You can't make them feel differently about you or each other but there are needs of yours that are not being met and they need to be aired.
I think your monster is trying to tell you that you are forcing yourself to accept a situation that is very difficult without the appropriate self care. The amount others care for us is usually a reflection of how well we care for ourselves.
Don't expect things be be right overnight. Aim for a less aggressive monster each time but this will only come about if you start acknowledging the issues and working them through. The monster is a result of the problems, not the problem herself.
They won't love you anymore if you force yourself to be really really good and not make a fuss about what's going on. You will just create a really ugly monster.