Originally Posted by AutumnalTone
I'm not one to suffer foolishness gladly, so what I'd do would likely be considered harsh by some.
No contact with her. If he breathed in her direction, I'd be gone. There has to be time for you to work out whether or not you want to continue the marriage after the cheating.
Once you've figured that out, there has to be time to work on the marriage to get it healthy again, should you decide you want to stay in it. All of that time--which is on your schedule--has to stay utterly clear of any complications involving persons not involved in your marriage.
Only after you've had time to work through all of that would it be time to even consider adding any other partners.
Again, this would all happen according to your schedule because you are the one he wronged when he cheated.
I for one would not consider any of this harsh. I'd say it was a fair, compassionate and even-handed response to a devastating series of injuries.