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Old 08-31-2010, 03:58 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by citygirl View Post
I found out this past July that my husband was cheating on me... he is justifying it by saying he is poly....
He's full of shit.

I'm not one to suffer foolishness gladly, so what I'd do would likely be considered harsh by some.

No contact with her. If he breathed in her direction, I'd be gone. There has to be time for you to work out whether or not you want to continue the marriage after the cheating.

Once you've figured that out, there has to be time to work on the marriage to get it healthy again, should you decide you want to stay in it. All of that time--which is on your schedule--has to stay utterly clear of any complications involving persons not involved in your marriage.

Only after you've had time to work through all of that would it be time to even consider adding any other partners.

Again, this would all happen according to your schedule because you are the one he wronged when he cheated.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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