The last couple of weeks have been very interesting for Redpepper and me. We have continued to explore our natures and examine the differences and similarities. There has been a substantial awareness wash over us in just how committed we both are to building a lifelong future and family. When I speak of family I am specifically referring to my integration and presence with their existing family.
I think even Redpepper is surprised in how easy it has been for me to see her husband as a deep friend and have total compersion for what they have. This is not a face I put on or self-denial. I simply love the both of them as a single entity with their son. My love for her cannot be a negative as long as I see them this way.
This is so natural and good feeling for me personally, I feel completely blessed. I know it is rare to be in a FMM "V", especially when there is an intended life long commitment to the relationship but I am where I want to be and where I belong.
I love Redpepper with a new maturity and awareness gained through my past experiences and in the lessons polyamory has taught me about self analysis and communication. She knows how I feel about her. I think she is really figuring it out