Yep. That's exactly what Fidelia would say.
She would also say that you are completely justified in feeling devastated and betrayed, and that it would be a completely reasonable course of action if you set his cheating ass on the curb and sued her for alienation of affections during the divorce proceedings. Not because they fell in love, but because they lied to you about it and destroyed the trust you had in your husband and your marriage!
And for the record and imo, your husband isn't polyamorous. He might like to be polyamorous, even wish he were polyamorous. But polyamory is based in love, respect and mutual concern for all parties concerned. And from what you've written here, he has not demonstrated much love, respect or concern for YOU in all this.
The fact that you are even willing to entertain the idea of polyamory after the repeated exposure of their lies and deceit speaks volumes about your openmindedness and personal strength. But before you can move forward in any new direction, polyamorous or otherwise, you have wounds which must be cared for and healed. And you deserve his (and her) help and support in that healing. You shouldn't have to insist on it, but you're certainly within your rights to.
Last edited by NeonKaos; 08-30-2010 at 10:17 PM.
Reason: merge posts :)