Originally Posted by DazednConfused
I do see now, that my inabilty to handle this is really taking it's toll on her. I'm going to stay in the 2nd bdrm for awhile until we get our finances cleaner. It's just so damned sad. I'm heartbroke, I know it's better for her...just sucks. I did promise that we could keep this between us, and I'd still go be arm candy when she needs to present a unified couple infront of his wife, so they can continue without issue. (dont beat me up for it, I love her and she needs my help).
I do know she's starting to seek out help, and educate herself, even taking time to read here. If she does join, please go easy and remember, I've only provided one side of the story. Help her if your wisdom and experience can make her future better, kinder, and more loving.
Please do not beat yourself up. What you were given to handle was a messy situation. I don't think that stems from simple bias on your part. Clear, open, communication on ALL parties part is the only way these situations work without someone getting left holding the shitty end of a pointed stick.
Your wife might start her self-education by reading Ethical Sluts. I am sure there are others on the boards with far more experience and knowledge than I who have other recommendations too. Actually, if you've not read it, you might want to read it to. It might help you work through your feelings about some of what you experienced and help you see clearer the roles that everyone plays in this situation.
I know (from experience) that a failed marriage HURTS like hell. But I stand here today to tell you that you can get through it, you will be stronger and you will love again.
Best wishes for the greatest of luck and love for you!