Originally Posted by BstiNatosi
Although she says she loves me dearly, this is non-negotiable.
I'll apologize for ranting on your post now but here goes!
Just because a partner tells you they are going to pursue a relationship with another person does not make it anything better than cheating if you are not ok with it. If I tell the bank teller I'm going to rob her, I'm still breaking the law.
She is driving this down your throat. I'm sick of people just taking this type of crap from shitty people. There is an endless stream of free babysitters and house-stitters being walked all over by people who say they love them. Bull shit they love them..they need them to hold the fort down while they run off to fuck other people and they need them to run home to when the shine wears off thier NRE ridden adventure. Fuck them, let them come home to locked doors and R-E-A-L-I-T-Y. The world doesn't revolve around them, and if they constantly put their needs ahead of their partners then they aren't worth the love of those who put the needs of others first.
Stand up if you don't want this. Better yet, get her and your parents opinion on what they think of this in relation to "She feels that she has a right to do as she pleases as an individual". See how righteous she feels then.
Saying there is nothing you can do about this is makes you sound weak and helpless and I am sure you are not.
Her preferring you not to have other relationships makes total sense though..she might have to hire some one to clean the house while she's off with her boyfriend.
I normally would be a lot less irate but when when a partner tells their partner that something is "going to happen" there is no love involved; their is only childish, greedy, selfish and destructive self centered behavior.
You're looking for a benefit to poly under the conditions she has given you? There is none unless you just want the house to yourself.
You have no choice so your self confidence will be shot.
You'll feel ashamed because people will think of you as weak when they find out, and they will unless you're really good at hiding it or just don't care.
When people ask you how you and your wife are doing, a knife will peirce your chest and they will see it in your eyes
Every time she visits him you'll probably feel physically ill at the idea of him sweating on her
Can you work around this and perhaps both be taken care of...yup, but she has got to knock off her "this is going to happen shit" and you'll have to step up and make your needs known.
No person will die without another in their life, it just feels that way. Now go get a Plenty of Fish account and see how easy it is to hook up. There's plenty of women looking to have affairs and one night stands...unlike your wife, they just don't tell their husband. Hey, she said you could pursue others.
Sorry my friend...I lose it when I hear this type of stuff