Originally Posted by BstiNatosi
Like Pie, I was told that I would be free to date if I so wished, because "it's only fair". But she would prefer that I didn't because "it would complicate our lives even further".
But she keeps sending me articles about Polyamory and how jealousy is merely an irrational fear based on one's own insecurities.
I'm so sorry, man. It appears to me that she's simply trying to manipulate you into letting her have a lover without any true intention to move to a poly relationship. That she's announced she will have a lover whether you agree or not is very telling.
Were it me, I'd leave. I don't tolerate game playing of any sort, and she's playing in very ham-handed fashion. Polyamory is about negotiating what is needed and desired, not dictating to partners that it's going to happen without regard to their needs and desires--there's a required ethical component to polyamory.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.