Finally, there is clarity?
B's cell phone was not the only one which died over the weekend. I called my wife at 6 to see if she was on her way home. By 7 I was getting a little antsy, because there had been no response to either text or call. So I did something which I'd wanted to do but hadn't had the guts to. I called B. B told me my wife had left at quarter after 6 but that her cell had died, and she'd been trying to call her too. Then I asked B the question...what's going on with all this?
A long sigh. Apparently, that morning, she had talked to H about his offer from the previous night. She asked him point blank "why is it OK for me to sleep with random guy but not with CowleyRoad?" H said he felt nervous about me, and was afraid I would try to take B from him. B said that wasn't the case, but H was still concerned about that. B said she'd work slowly with him. B also admitted that, yes, H is not ready to settle down and commit to my wife and I, even though my wife intrigues him a lot. H has this list of things (OK people) he'd like to try. As it happens, my wife is top of that list (put there by B, but admitted to by H). H is rather infatuated with her, in fact...he has called her three nights in a row now. Anyway, B said, H will be OK with us being together at...some point. Maybe when his list is complete. Maybe in June. 2011.
So, sigh. After I hung up my wife came back. She was all thrilled about her time with B and I threw a turd on that, and I am sorry to her about that. She wasn't too happy with the time table, either, but we realized that we had to go at H's pace. She was especially a little confused that H felt OK to call her and talk for an hour or so, but that it wasn't OK for me to do that with B. After H talked to my wife last night, B sent me a text. She was willing to talk to my wife and H, and see whether it would be OK for me to have "supervised" calls with her, for about 15-20 minutes at a time, for a few days a week. It pained me a little that that was the best we could ask for, but we also realize we need to go slow. My wife agreed right away. H probably took some talking.
So tonight was the first night of the experiment. My wife and I agreed...keep the conversation light and not about "sappy stuff." First H called my wife, amusingly. He is a bit sappy himself I think even if he doesn't know it. Then B called my wife and talked for a bit. She handed the phone to me. Then, to her overwhelming credit and in a very loving display of trust, she left me alone to talk. B and I talked about some of the intellectual things we shared, and some books we'd both read. We actually ended up talking for 25 minutes. Then we wished each other well. I was rather sad not to hear an "I love you" from her.
But a few minutes later she texted back. "I know I'm not supposed to say it but I do love you. Overwhelmingly so." And I responded in kind.