Originally Posted by redpepper
Apparently though, to answer you question. It is actually very common in some communities to have group sex. There is a community that I know of that make it a monthly event! So.... you are not alone it seems.
I guess I don't understand the appeal of that. I can see having group sex in a network that is all one large poly tangle. In terms of having group sex just because folks are in a social group because they're poly--though not part of the same tangle--seems to me to be a swinging event for those so inclined in the poly social circle. I'd really have to wonder why anybody involved would be upset that somebody else isn't interested in swinging. (Unless I'm misunderstanding you and nobody actually got upset.)
We are poly and open, so I'm free to have casual sex with any babe I care to talk into getting nekkid. I can't say as I'd find the whole group of poly folk I know an enticing set of partners for sex play. I'd be seriously puzzled if some of them got together for an orgy and assumed that everybody else wanted to get involved. I would find that incredibly odd.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.