Thread: New & Unsure
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Old 08-28-2010, 02:46 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hi Candi,

Kudos to you for thinking & researching ahead ! Yeaaaaaaaaaaa !

Although Jade alluded to the fact that because they are a couple, that doesn't mean they will automatically take longer to bond with (which I agree with), there WILL be certain practical realities that WILL take some time.

Probably the biggest concerns and complications we hear from new people coming into an existing relationship revolve around practical things. Often the new person feels left out, slighted, inconsidered in decision making processes etc. Much of this is NOT intentional, but it can be hard to not take it personally.

It's critical to understand that living your life (practical as well as emotional) as a two-some is very different than living it as a 'more-some'. It's just a new (for most) and different skill set ! And like any new skill, it takes time and practice.

I'd recommend (as others have) taking it slow, don't build up unreasonable expectations and keep the topic on the table that this is new for everyone and new feelings are going to arise, new practical complications may surface and to all cut each other a little slack in figuring out how to deal with them. Cross one bridge at a time - with a smile on your face and a hug (or more) on the other side.

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