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Old 08-27-2010, 04:37 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by Skyknight25m View Post
Originally I had said that I would feel more comfortable if they waited at least a week to have sex. That really bothered S and she kept trying to tell me how I was being controlling and I should let go of my jealousy.

Before G moved in, I purchased condoms and divided them into two bags, and gave one to him when he arrived. But my wife disapproved of the condoms because she says she is slightly allergic to them. She believes in natural family planning (rhythm method) even though the month before he arrived, she confessed to having falsely predicted her ovulation days. But you know where this is going... I later found out that no condoms were used, and that they probably conceived the first night they had sex. Now she is almost 2 months pregnant. She says that she is 99% sure that G is the father but won't tell me how she could possibly know that, since we were both not using condoms.
Wow...this is a tough spot, you have my ... sympathies.

Actually, several months ago she mentioned something about how being uncircumcised makes a big difference in successful conception. Even before he moved in she had been asking me to look at websites about circumcision, and telling me that my member is "mutilated" and that uncircumcised is better at pleasing a woman, better in every way. It made me cry, and it made her cry to see me get upset about it, but she kept urging me to do some sort of restoration. Finally I had to ban the subject from my house for my own self esteem. But it's not easy knowing that she prefers his.
So now she is slapping your sexuality. Jesus...I had a gf mock my uncircumcised penis once. I booted her from bed. Neither is better or worse, they just are. I would be fucking livid if any of my partners pulled this crap with me. Maybe its because, growing up, being uncircumcised was the bad thing for men to be...but the reverse of this isn't any better...

Did I mention that my wife doesn't even sleep in the same room with me anymore? I upgraded our bed to a king size pillow top mattress so we would have plenty of room, even to co-sleep with the baby. Then I gave our old mattress to G because he didn't have anything to sleep on. But she says that the new mattress is "too soft" and she read that it's bad/dangerous for pregnant women to sleep on pillow top mattresses. So she ALWAYS sleeps in G's bed, and I am always sleeping alone in my room.
Ok, I come from a bit of a bdsm background and see things in interesting and creative ways. She sounds like she is a dominant trying to build her family of submissive s to control and manipulate. This really rings in a lot of poly setups I read about on fetlife that also have the D/s dynamic.

When I came out to my parents about our polyamory, they were shocked and disgusted and threatened to stop talking to me until things changed. They said all kinds of horrible things about my wife and I ended up swearing out my parents in her defense. After several weeks of no contact I just recently started to mend relations with my parents/family, who have decided to be more accepting of our poly lifestyle. But it's certainly difficult for me to say that this is a great lifestyle when so many things seem to be going against me lately. Meanwhile, my wife has not told anyone in her family yet and she will probably delay telling them as long as she can.
Family wants to protect. Maybe they are less tolerant of poly because they see your wife through different eyes.

Based on what you've read, you could either say that I'm the most amazingly tolerant and supportive husband ever, or that I'm being walked all over. Personally, I'm convinced it's the former and that a lot of these issues are just temporary ones. But then I'm an optimist and I like to believe that people can change and grow if they apply themselves and believe in something. I believe in the love that my wife and I share because she tells me "I love you" every day, and I see it in her eyes and feel it when she embraces me.
I could say this and I would believe it. Without the other side of the story you sound like you are a great poly hubby and she is NOT a good poly wife. She wants her cake, wants you to know how to make it and doesn't want to do the work to understand how this works.
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