Originally Posted by DazednConfused
I'm going to give it another shot of trying to let her do this, and support her and love her. This weekend should be pretty telling. Tonight it will be the 4 of us (plus a bunch more) at a lawn fete (beer tent w/music). In a sense it's good that I'm there, helps keep the love birds in check..
no no no
It's not your job to keep them in check! Can't you see? He's getting off on hurting both you and his wife, with all the (open) secrets, and running off for kissy-face, the drama, the subterfuge.
Cut her loose. Stop going on her
dates with him. You're her beard! Give them enough rope to hang themselves. Let them work it out between them. His wife can go along if she wants, and watch their sexual energy, and mope around in her fog of not knowing for sure (denial, not just a river in Egypt), not admitting to what is staring her in the face. You don't have to! You're worth more than this. From where I sit, you're not loving and helping your wife, you're enabling her to act in an immoral way. This is not polyamory, this is a mess.
Sorry if I sound impatient, but my ex was a people pleaser for all the wrong reasons (very low self esteem) and it drove me crazy. Be true to yourself!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw
me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
Last edited by Magdlyn; 08-27-2010 at 01:41 PM.