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Old 08-05-2009, 10:19 PM
Barry Barry is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 35
Default Prefer to be alone

Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
Myself, I prefer to be alone as opposed to keeping up the kind of energy required in social situations. I used to think I was a people-person but trying to live up to that image was very stressful. When I let go of that and acknowledged my anti-social disposition, I felt really relieved. My husband (and also my "other guy" who I don't see now) thinks I'm a high-functioning autistic / Asperger's, but I have not sought a professional opinion about this yet. The internet gives me a level of interaction that I can tolerate and remain in touch with people. It's not so much PEOPLE that I mind, just having them around constantly is kind of irksome to me.
I would venture to say you are neither autistic or have Asperger's syndrome. I have a lot to say about this topic but for the sake of bandwidth and respect for others I am going to "try" and give you enough information that will enable you to discover that you are you, and that is "normal." There are ways that each of us process the world around us. Those ways are dependent on who we are, and that to a large degree is shaped by innate traits or characteristics that we have from birth. It is why some people are artists, some scientists, some public speakers. True, you can step outside of those traits with effort. As you experienced that can be draining because what you are doing is going against your natural born strengths. You, and you alone would have to determine if there would be acceptable reward for going against your own personality. There has been a tremendous amount of research done on individual personalities and how each personality type processes and perceives his or her world. Kiersey developed a method to define specific personalities and Myers-Briggs added their own spin to the process. There is a test which asks a series of questions that help define who you are. It is accurate and easy to take. Once you realize your personality type then there is loads of info out there about how your specific type of personality typically lives. My guess is that you are an "I" type personality. There are several variations in this category. Google INFJ and you will get a sense of what I am talking about. The "I" personality requires alone time to regroup. It is an essential part to renewing yourself. Typically "I" personality types are thinkers heavily influenced by their feelings. The only "bad" part to this type of personality is that being unaware most people in this category suspect that there is a flaw in their character, or a weakness. It is not unusual for them to actively try and suppress the very parts of them that make them strong. In addition to very detailed descriptions of each personality type there are also references to well known people that share these same character traits. Calvin Coolidge was an INFJ. He did not socializing and did not like giving into superficial conversation, yet he became the President of the United States. He was affectionately known as "silent Cal." At one particular dinner that was held for diplomats he overheard someone say, "I bet I can make him say more than three words." His reply was, "you lose." :-) What I'm saying is don't be so quick to think the worst of yourself. If you would like I will be glad to direct you to some places where you can do your own personal research. I hope this sparked some interest.

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