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Old 08-26-2010, 09:44 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Cowgirl for sure..and that is not meant to be a negative comment. If you look at the other stuff outside of your relationship the odds are not in favour of a poly set up.

Her stuff:
She is deeply christian...her family is therefore probably deeply christian. Even if she can get over the idea of you having a wife, the external pressure from her family will be immense I imagine.

She feels she deserves to be loved the same way she does..with total commitment to one person and exclusivity no doubt....and she does deserve to experience this because it truly does feel different.

You have said she wants the "white picket fence" and 2.5 kids. She can't get that in the way she would with a man for herself. She can have something possibly really great, but it won't be what her friends and family have...unless of course she finds a new community of friends.

Your stuff:

You've already mentioned the affects of you leaving your wife for her would have on your children, which means you have thought about it.

You've mentioned the possibility of your wife taking a secondary role to enable you to build a family with this new woman. Which means you've thought about it.

You feel that you could be mono with Bree and be happy in that..which means you have thought about it and that Bree fills a broader spectrum of needs and excitement than your wife does in this moment. (NRE probably has a huge part in this)

Perhaps this is a case of a Cowgirl meeting a Serial Monogamist?

The only reason I have made it to this point in my relationship is because some one else met my mono needs and expectations....your girlfriend seems pretty monogamous to me; by conditioning certainly, by nature perhaps. Regardless, in the end, I doubt she will settle for anything less than what is "normal" and acceptable in her world. In her world, and the world I left behind, sharing a partner is not either.

I hope you all find happiness
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Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 08-26-2010 at 10:00 PM.
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