You're absolutely right. Pretending to be unaffected is not going to help matters, so I explained to my husband that once he told me that he can't share me, my feelings for the other guy became more apparent to me and I realised that they were deeper than I'd thought.
He isn't happy about this, but doesn't blame me. Instead he is heaping guilt on top of his own head, which isn't going to help either of us.
I've explained this and he is going to try to get past it all. He wanted me to stay friends with the other guy, because I make friends very easy, but all my friends mean a lot to me. I care too much were his words.
The problem is that I believe, even if I could maintain a normal friendship with the other guy, would my husband be able to deal with it, knowing that I was developing feelings for him? Of course not, it would just cause more problems.
The other guy has gone away on a trip, so I can't speak to him until Monday. I have told my husband that I need to speak to him alone and probably on the phone, as it would be rude to end things via email.
He understands this (at least he says he does) and I just hope I don't break down over the phone and make an idiot of myself. Especially as I have no idea what the other guys true feelings are for me.
I therefore have no alternative, other than to cut all ties to the new sexual experiences that I was hoping to achieve in order to save my marriage.
I know that given time, I will be okay. It's just very hard to have to let someone go that you know in your heart, could have been very special.