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Old 08-26-2010, 02:35 AM
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sage sage is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 621

Is this true? I am curious about this statement. For me any jealousy has always been rooted in some fear or insecurity. I would love to hear why you think there is a difference in the two between mono jealousy and poly jealousy? (Ariakis)

Probably not enough stuff for a new thread but happy for someone else to make that decision. I made the statement that jealousy in a polyamorous relationship is like nothing I have ever felt before.

While I agree it still has its foundations in insecurity and fear (and envy) the reason it is different goes something like this. In a poly relationship we are dealing with issues that don't generally come up in healthy relationships e.g our partners sleeping with and spending time with others in an intimate and romantic way. So yes it is still insecurity, fear and envy but it is supercharged because the emotional investment is so high. And it's not a one off thing, like an affair, or a relationship breakdown, it is ongoing. It is not going to stop because of our feelings, it is not someone else's mistake.

Also the feelings are raw and right in your face. If this kind of thing happens in a mono relationship we are justified in being angry, our friends and family can be angry for us and there is a lot of empathy for us. This and the yahoo group are the only places I share my feelings on this subject, apart from with my partner. My daughter said "you opened the door for this, you have to live with it or leave"

Right or wrong I've come from a back ground where women shared their feelings about their relationships and supported each other. I really miss that.

Last edited by sage; 08-26-2010 at 02:37 AM.
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