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Old 08-25-2010, 07:47 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,443

Today S told me that this relationship we have is the strongest he's ever been in He says he feels extremely loved and supported.
He also said than in his previous poly relationships (and he's had lots of experience with that), there usually was one "main partner", either him or another man, and the rest was more casual, closer to fuckbuddies. So he thinks it's great that even though I'm married, he feels just as important as my husband and feels that I love both of them and give my time and attention to both of them.
He also said he's feeling less neglected (he added immediately that he doesn't feel neglected at all) than in any other relationship he's been, including when he was mono de facto (but in a poly-open relationship).

It made me very happy. I too feel like we have a strong relationship. We've known each other for three months today and been together for two months in a week, so it's still fairly recent, but it definitely already feels like a long-term relationship, if I'm making sense.

He also says that he had always thought he couldn't have a serious, "real" relationship (non-casual) for at least one more decade because his job is demanding, and he thought he'd have to wait until he was promoted to a position where he'd have less woork hours, so he'd have more time to devote to his romantic life. He didn't think any woman would "stand for it".
But he's been feeling supported in his job rather than blamed for working too much and he seems so grateful for it.
For me, it's just normal, I want to support my men's goals and passions, and his career is important to him, so it's important to me. One of my best friends says I have the "Busy Guy curse", as in, I've always fallen for guys who are very busy, usually with their jobs but it can also be a combination of things (many activities, etc).
Because it's part of why I love them, it just doesn't make sense for me to blame them for it. Sure we don't get to spend that much time together, but in a way it's a good thing, the time we do spend is all the more special, plus I like having time for myself, too!

So, I feel very happy in my relationship with S, all the more because of how happy he seems to be.
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