Yes "tips and tricks" doesn't quite cut it. I look at it as "hard but healthy work"
You can look at my first big jealousy crisis on my blog.
Do a search here for jealousy, it's a big topic. Redpepper is right in a nutshell but that might be a bit hard for someone new to understand, because the kind of jealousy you feel in polyamory is like nothing I've ever experienced. I would never have seen myself as a jealous person before my relationship with a poly partner.
You did give a clue when you said that watching their intimacy really hurt and you would have loved some of it. You are looking to C for this intimacy when you could be looking to your husband. I know that must be difficult with all the NRE floating around but the primary relationship has to be really strong to manager another relationship successfully. Maybe you and your husband need to look at your intimacy?