The Polly Roller Coaster
Hi all...I am new to the Polly lifestyle and to this forum. Thank you for letting me chime in.
Our adventure started about 6 months ago when a friend introduced another girl friend to us while we were at a pub. Her and I (the wife) hit it off famously, and soon we were going for runs and bike rides, lunches and walks together. She, "C", was experienced at differing forms of relationships and had been with both men and women and a combination before. I had never been with a women and have been married to the same guy with no affairs for 23 years.
One day our discussion progressed to the 'what-ifs'. What if we were to try a threesome. She said No, that she would never want to jeapordize our friendship. At this point, it was about 3 months old.
Then she had a dinner party one night with 20 guests. We stayed later and helped clean up and as we moved into the kitchen for a threesome group hug, she turned to me and kissed me. It was perhaps the hottest most sensual kiss I had ever felt (or at, could remember back to my early 20s). She moved to the other room and I followed her, and she kissed me again. All 3 of us began shaggin on the couch and then moved up to the bedroom for an unbelievable sexual experience that I will never forget. She was so IN TO me it was crazy.
We continued crazy sex for the next few weeks, seemingly she was still very into me and my hubby felt a bit left out, so he asked her out for coffee and he told her about his feelings of being left out. That seemed to trip something and then she started to pay more attention to him. More and more and more and now they are 'officially in love'. Me? Well I am 'in love/lust' with her, but she says that she can never love a woman like she loves a man. She loves me as a best friend. I am trying to wrap my head around that and be cool with their displays of intimacy that I would dearly love. Our 'sexual relationship' has been going on just over 2 months, and there have been soooo many ultra awesome times - happy happy times, but the downs have been there too. My feelings of rejection and coming to terms with accepting their love.
They have both reassured me repeatedly that their relationship is just for fun, that it is NOT going anywhere. He is not going to run off, and that he loves me to death...more than ever.
It came to a near death yesterday when I just didn't handle things well, and my hubby decided he would take the bull by the horns and break it off. So he did. They met and broke up. Then she came to our house to see me and return some things and said that we couldn't be friends either. I died a bit inside. I began trying to see if I could fix things. Maybe with enough open communication we could work it out.
My hubby got home from work and the 3 of us talked and talked and got everything out in the open. My feelings of rejection, our various forms of love, their need for more intimacy.
Right now, we are in chill mode. All of our worlds were rocked yesterday. I feel like I am being held hostage by a friendship that I can't bear to lose. Does anyone have any words of wisdom to offer? I am all ears....