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Old 08-23-2010, 01:00 PM
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Indigomontoya Indigomontoya is offline
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So an odd little quirk ninjaed my brain this morning that I wasn't expecting...well not a quirk, and not a full on insecurity really...I don't know how to describe it. But TP has said many times over the past week/weekend that she's happier than she has been in long time. Now I will take full credit for my part in this, she has her's as well, but (keeping with the title), the third is Mr. A.

I guess I can handle the physical intimacy, just shower and I will 'remark my territory'. The emotional intimacy I am dealing with; she loves Mr. A, love is not a finite resource, and she has become quite good at not making me feel secondary, or unfairly treated. But the fact that she is getting happiness from someone other than me made my reptile brain do a turn. I guess I am just adjusting, but it goes back to feeling inadequate and therefore she needs a boyfriend to fill the void I leave wanting...I know this isn't the case, but hey my reptile brain doesn't know anything but Id and flight or fight...so my reptile brain is telling me something is wrong because I am not doing, saying, or being something that she needs...and that stabs into my own confidence and insecurity issues. It will resolve itself like the other two have, but just an odd little bit of insecurity as the reptile brain adjusts.

On a side note, I think I am getting a little callous with who I talk to online...Apparently a very attractive blond woman knows my name, and I have no two sweet clues who she is, where I know her from, or any idea where to begin looking to figure it out...I guess my throw shit against the wall method of contact early on has come back to bite me in the ass.

IM
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