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Old 08-23-2010, 05:54 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
It seems to me jealousy is wanting what someone else has, and resenting that person for having it when you don't/ when you want to be the only person to. With that definition, there needs to be another person to be jealous of, right?
wouldn't that other person be the one he is spending time with? the other person he is treating well? is excited to be with? wouldn't that be wanting what they have, in other words your partners time? resenting that they are spending time with them and not with you?

This can happen even if you spend tons of time with a partner. Sometimes, I think the jealousy of which we speak is akin to an ache as dynamics adjust to fit in another. There seems to be an element of uncomfortableness as another person is added to ones life... the balance goes off in the whole tribe when dynamics change. Even if we may be perfectly compersioning all over the place, there still can be an uncomfort that presents as jealousy... or perhaps envy.

Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
So I guess it felt like a different category of emotion to me, purely self-centred and not focused on what he was doing, but on the fact I wasn't enjoying his company. If that clarifies it in any way.
Yes, the activity at hand can also make a huge difference... mostly because if a partner has decided to go and play video games once a week at a friends house then there is likely to be no after emotions attached to that. They will come home and life carries on... with them going over to a new girlfriends house to get to know them better and have sex, the likelihood of them coming home with an emotional component is high. That kind of dynamic can mean more of a struggle with jealousy of the type we are talking about.
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