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Old 08-23-2010, 05:29 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,433

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
This is an interesting thought. hmmmm... so what you are saying is that its only jealousy if it's to do with someone else, rather than how one feels about a situation?
It seems to me jealousy is wanting what someone else has, and resenting that person for having it when you don't/ when you want to be the only person to. With that definition, there needs to be another person to be jealous of, right?

It could very well be that my definition is at fault, mind you. I see jealousy as being angry at other people for what they have, or feeling bad that you, in comparison, don't have it.
The feeling on loneliness wasn't really a comparison to someone else. I didn't think my boyfriend was with someone else, didn't care about it much. I only cared that he was neglecting me, from my point of view.

I can see how they can be linked if you're being neglected because of another person, but then you have to ask yourself, "am I feeling bad only because I am neglected, or also because the other person is treated well?"
I feel that a jealous person tends to still feel jealous when they are NOT being neglected.

But I guess you are right that jealousy can take many forms.

EDIT: To give more examples of what I mean:

Imagine a woman is okay with her straight husband hanging out with his male friends, but not with his female friends. From the woman's point, it is the same lack of time spent with him. The difference comes from who that time is spent with. Therefore I see that as jealousy.

It can be situational too though. If it's fine to spend the night and play videogames, but not spend the night and have sex, that's also a form of jealousy, because it's tied to the activity.

But in my case, whether he was hanging out with friends, male or female, playing videogames or having sex, that wasn't a concern at all. The problem was that he wasn't there with me when he was supposed to and to me it meant "you're not important".

So I guess it felt like a different category of emotion to me, purely self-centred and not focused on what he was doing, but on the fact I wasn't enjoying his company. If that clarifies it in any way.

Last edited by Tonberry; 08-23-2010 at 05:37 AM.
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