Originally Posted by nautilus
We have spoken, he is so patient and wonderful about talking about it. I think you were right sage, in saying that I may be in shock. It was quite jarring seeing their intimacy together apart from me, but his reassurance that I could never be replaced is helpful. Any breathing exercises or practices that calm the mind when the jealousy crisis hits would be so helpful.
I've always found the traditional "In through the nose, out through the mouth, repeat..." to help in any situation. When I see my husband with one of his girlfriends I tend to think about how beautiful they look together. (I'm an artist with a bad habit of not knocking on the bedroom door ;P) Still, with about 30% of my work done in the home, it's a bit breath-taking to go from numbers & schedules to "OMG THERE'S SEX ON MY BED!!!" when I open my door...
You may very well BE in shock. You both may have thought what you wanted is what you were ready for and if you were wrong, no one's at fault. If you already have dialog with your s/o you are doing well, keep that open. If your lover is as understanding as you say then give him a chance to help you.
Communication is the key!!! Don't leave him in the dark about anything if he's supportive! Supportive people are sensitive and he'll sense you holding back but not know why... we ALL know where THAT leads.