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Old 08-23-2010, 01:51 AM
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JimmyTH JimmyTH is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indiana
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Default First Time Jealousy

Maybe other people react to this differently, but to me there's a logical part of the mind and then there's something instinctive, and even when it's me I don't have complete control of the instinctive part. Some people may be better suited to sharing mates, possibly a cultural thing, I'm really not sure. In some societies it's normal, everyone does it, no big deal. Most of us in the States were raised otherwise, possibly not all of us. But, I've seen jealousy arise in the partners of my partners even if they weren't new to the concept of polyamory, especially when the relationships were more than casual. Possibly among men it's an ego-driven process, if you're "the best" it's ok, and if you think you have a real competitor it's not. I've seen this in myself just recently, from the other side of the coin so to speak, and even though I recognized what was happening it still took three weeks to process and burn out. The instinctive mind gets bored and looks for something else to do after awhile, fortunately. Until it reaches that point life is horrible. Fascinating process to watch, miserable to be trapped in it, eventually if you're patient you can work through it. If the misery is centered on someone else -- someone else has the jealousy problem -- I'm not sure what the right solution is. I've sometimes backed away to make things easier on the people I care about, but there may be better answers than that. Actually I'd hope there are, because that one always sucks.
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