View Single Post
  #37  
Old 08-22-2010, 05:31 AM
vandalin's Avatar
vandalin vandalin is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 520
Thumbs up

It's been a month and a half since my last update and I have news! Two news actually, but first I'll start by saying that Mommy and little Prince are both doing well, things are going not quite smoothly but close enough...and here I will pause to re-plug the baby. lol

Alrighty then, on to the new developments. I've mentioned previously about my LDR friend who up until now I haven't come with a creative nom de plume. I shall now name him... Bucky. So my friend Bucky is coming to visit, a lot sooner than we all had expected. Originally he wouldn't have been able to afford it for at least 6 months to a year. He's planning on coming in October! He and I are very excited, we are already trying to plan what to do and we don't know exactly which weekend he's coming yet. We both really want to meet each other and get to know each other in person and more intimately. I foresee some definite physical contact happening, in fact I will probably stay at the hotel with him one or two nights...but I think that would happen anyways.

I know that previously I said I wasn't sure how or what I felt about him, but I'm ok with not being able to define it now. I care for him very much, I love him as a friend, and I think I would love to share myself physically with him ...if that makes sense. "Intimate friends" I think is what I saw it referred as.

The hard part with Bucky is that he is mono, and although he is okay with me being married and in an open/poly relationship, he is uncomfortable and a bit jealous if I mention other guys I talk to. I knew it was a subject that had to be discussed because even though we are not a "couple" we are friends and have strong feelings for each other. I told him that it was up to him whether he wanted to know about any other guy I am interested in or go on dates with. He feels bad and not as good a friend, but he doesn't really want to hear about it. I told him that it was alright and that I understood, and that I won't discuss my dating with him. I'm not a big supporter of the DADT policy, but since we are not "together" and even when he does visit, that will probably be a one time thing (unless I go visit him which is another thought altogether), so I think it would be alright. I did tell him that as far as having sex with anyone else, that he shouldn't worry, that I would really like for him to be my "first" if we are to have sex. So unless we were to try to meet up again in the future, any other sexual relations I have would be irrelevant to him.

Which brings me to my second bit of news. I have a date. This gentleman I will call Carl. No, that's not his name, but he looks more like a Carl than what his name really is. So I met Carl through OKC. He sent me a message not long after the little Prince was born, and he was doing a search for poly people and that I was one of the only newer poly's that he's found. Conversation ensued for the last two months where I found out that he and his wife are in a similar situation that Cajun and I are in. His wife came out as poly and he is working on accepting it and embracing the lifestyle himself. His wife has a BF and he is looking for community and dating. He asked me out last week and we are getting together Monday night for "coffee" and ice cream.

I think what I like best about Carl is that unlike the other guys that I'm talking to, he and I haven't talked about sex at all. Don't get me wrong, the other guys talk about other things, but flirting and sex seem to be most on their minds or at least their fingertips. So I am actually very glad that Carl was the first to ask and we were able to set something up so quickly. He is also very respectful and understanding of Cajun and the possible emotions that he might feel while we are out on our date. He even put himself out as the "sacrificial lamb" of a first date to help us along the poly path. And even if there is no chemistry, we at least come away with a common goal of understanding this thing called Poly.

So this is where I'm at. Comments, questions and critiques are always welcome.

And as a final note, Cajun has finally joined the forums! I know everyone here will be as helpful to him as you have for me, but I must warn you...if you thought my rambling posts are long, just wait.
__________________
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.
Reply With Quote