So how did a 36-year-old terribly shy straight male with only three sex partners ever (two of whom he was married to!) until last month decide together with his near-lesbian wife to embark on a swinging adventure that suddenly blossomed into something like a polyamorous relationship? Well, if you figure out, let me know, because I don't yet...
The back story: yes, I am terribly shy. I prefer writing because speaking is difficult for me--although I'm getting better at it. I love books and reading and literary discussion. And, as my wife will attest, while I'm not good at interaction with a lot of people, when I am close to someone my shell disappears. In other words, I prefer one to many. So on the face of it, I was never the greatest candidate to go swinging.
But at the same time my wife and I wanted to expand our sexuality. As I say my wife is closer to lesbian than even 50-50 bi. She has always been attracted to women more than men, even if she has never felt comfortable expressing that due to family and societal pressures. She came out to me about three years ago and I can't say I was surprised. There had been a lot of little hints dropped from time to time. I do not know why she has such an attraction to me. She says there is something very different about me in comparison with other men...that I do many things in a very womanly fashion. I don't see it myself but I can understand what she means.
After two years of discussion, we decided to try swinging to expand our sexuality. Really we didn't know from the outset what that would mean for us. Neither of us felt comfortable seeing a lot of people. We were both I think secretly hoping we would find a person or couple that we liked seeing more than once, who we could really get to know both in and out of bed. How fortunate, then, that the first couple we met were B and H.
You can read all about our first encounters with B and H and their own history in the earlier thread I started here
. Let me just say here a few things about B and H which will help this life story make more sense. First off, B is a very sexually-charged woman. As I have said here before "nothing B does is completely non-sexual." And of course the four of us started as swinging partners so our first couple encounters were sexual. So a lot
more of this life story is going to revolve around sex than the average story here. I apologize for that in advance but that's B's language and that's the place where we come from. I promise not to turn this into erotica, but I am going to reference it. Secondly, we're new at this and please take that into account. I worry about not using the language correctly. I'm not even sure what our relationship could be called right now or how to refer to B's relationship to me or my wife's relationship to H or whatever. H does not want this called poly, full stop. But it's definitely more than swinging or casual sex. I called B and H "our entanglement" here...that seems to work right now
Our understanding of B and H changes day-to-day as we learn more about them and about where we stand with them. But I'll try to describe a bit about them and us. The four of us come from pretty different worlds. My wife and I come from a very academic background, and although B and H are extremely intelligent, they have sold themselves short at times. I'm trying to draw that out of B in particular and I'll work on H next! They're more familiar with poly/swinging/sexual entanglements than us and have a lot of friends in the "scene" as it were. We have none and we'd probably be shunned if we were out about what we're doing. My dad would probably disown me, in fact.
Whew, that's a lot to start. To be continued...