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Old 08-21-2010, 01:41 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by CowleyRoad View Post
B and I talked last night with my wife sitting next to me. I noticed my wife getting more and more nervous as I talked. B had to leave and immediately my wife opened up. She said she wasn't sure if she could continue with things. There were so many concerns and worries she had, and she admitted a huge jealousy of me and B.
Hey Cowley,

It's ok - take a deep breath. Things are proceeding pretty much predictably.

Jealousy is the expected norm in our culture. That's ok.
NOW is the time to really understand what jealousy truly is because it's a terribly negative & destructive emotion/reaction. There's TONS of writing here on the forum and other sites you will find links to. Do a little search for "jealousy".

Not going to repeat something that's been discussed ad infinitum, but jealousy is a FEAR based emotion. Get down and root out the true source of what everyone is really 'afraid' of ! More times than not, when you do this you find paper tigers

One other suggestion I might offer for what it's worth..........

As intense as this all is, don't over-dramatize it ! Just work with it. Things WILL fall into place somewhere as it all progresses. It may be that you'll all discover that poly is not as big & scary a monster as it seems right now. Or you may discover that as nice as it sounds in theory, the practical realities of it just require more resources than you have available to put towards it (physical, emotional etc) and you will fall back in a mono existence but with a lot more real insight into what makes each other tick.

As is said many other times for other reasons - it's not the destination but the journey that holds the biggest rewards

Chill, smile, enjoy the journey.

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