Originally Posted by idealist
I used the words "ethical non-monogamy"
I think you just became my hero for creating that term.
That is such a great thread Mono. I really like the idea of using relatable terms to explain what Poly means, I think in the past I had tried to explain it and got bogged down as you said "by definitions" rather than explaining it in such a way that can be understood.
I had posted in the 'Coming Out' thread about dropping the 'P-Bomb' (TP's words) on women I am interested in.
I have tried all the advice from that thread: posted in my POF profile, not posting and saying right away, waiting until they have seen who I am as a person and then send them an email along the lines of "I really enjoyed our didn't want to mislead you..." and used the term "committed, non-manogamous relationship"
So I have tried multiple approaches; and received hate mail for posting in my profile and the results are I now have more female friends when telling them after establishing a good basis for a relationship (relationship in the broad sense of the word, friend or partner).
Predominantly the response has been a reluctance to 'share' me with TP. I can understand their point of view, but I feel I am not conveying the idea of a poly relationship well enough to be convincing.
I know this may not be the case all of the time but two of the women are definitely interested and are having issues coming to terms with sharing someone they are dating, both have said this outright (yes TP I took your advice and asked) and the others have asked things like "You have someone? is that not enough?"
I am wondering if anyone has stories, or advice in the phrasing and explaining what poly means, or what being with someone who is poly means.
I will develop a blog when I have time, but for now I am hijacking TP's blog