Thanks Superjast... I logically understand all that you say but the disconnect between the heart and the brain isn't there.... I really envy the lion from the Wizard of OZ!! I just get so annoyed bc both T and A act like I shouldn't have any feelings or emotions about this. Its like her feelings trump mine-and to an extent she IS the wife and I get that but I really do feel that as a gf I have been nothing but respectful of her feelings and wants. That I came into this relationship under the premise that it was acceptable and desired that I would have feelings for them both. I can not help that my feelings for him is greater than my feelings for her (primarily bc he is open to love and affection and she kept closing me out and he reciprocates it). Now I feel like I am being punished for my feelings for him and that that she feels I shouldn't be hurt or upset with her struggles and how they effect our relationship. I feel like she entered into this relationship under the premise of all of us sharing feeling for one another and when things didn't go her way she is going to pull the plug on it-only after allowing my feelings to develop and deepen. I can't decide if that is a selfish thought or not... Am I wrong for feeling that??
I have told her multiple times that I understand if this isn't what she expected (her husband falling in love with me) and that I would leave-despite it hurting like hell... And I do mean that-but please do not continue to string me along just to take it away.... I told T today-in the past I was very reluctant to allow my feelings for him. I held back so long bc in my mind I knew that this would happen. He broke me down with his love and now Ive tasted it and left wanting more....