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Old 08-18-2010, 06:50 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sunny CA
Posts: 293

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
PN seems to think that it does have something to do with him, but I have been talking about not feeling like I have a space for me for years.

I can see how he thinks this has something to do with Mono. It does, kind've. You brought up the downstairs living area with the idea of Mono living down there too. You use Mono's space as respite. It is hard for me to not attach this with you needing your own space when I don't even have emotional involvement in the situation.

We talked again on the way to work. I am so close to the surface with this. My emotions overwhelm immediately. Our boy spends the whole time telling us to stop talking.
I asked PN if he understood what I have been saying. I feel so unheard. He wanted to know AGAIN what I mean by space. I've been over it and over it. I got him to think about empathizing and what I have been saying.

Sometimes talking and talking and talking does more damage than healing... I find I NEED the time to process things, for my brain to heal, to understand what I have said and what more needs to be said with clarity. both for myself and for others. I get the feeling that this might help you all - give some space to let things settle in your heads... even a couple of days that are REALLY to yourself... no PN, no Mono.

I told him I would have to rent a bachelor suite if it doesn't change.
Take a deep breath. This blew up not that long ago. You may have been feeling it for a while, but may I suggest you take some intermediate steps before taking this route. I only say this because this kind of statement can come across as threatening to someone who is feeling like he has been. It puts pressure on the mind and makes things harder for everyone. I, personally, cannot think when under emotional pressure - it makes me feel like I am losing my mind and decisions that are made may be regretted at a later date.

Take a step back and a deep breath.....
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