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Old 08-18-2010, 05:04 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I don't read really, due to my dyslexia, but I will do some searching and see what its about. thanks M
Audiobooks for the ipod - audible.com

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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
We talked again on the way to work. I am so close to the surface with this. My emotions overwhelm immediately. Our boy spends the whole time telling us to stop talking. How do I teach him that its important that everyone has a chance to talk bout their needs and sometimes people get upset while having a need to talk? My parents spent my whole childhood trying to belittle my need to talk about needs due to the passion have and feel when I do. Now as an adult I am the same way and am made to stop talking by my son. Talk about reliving a trauma. I keep reminding him that we all need to talk, but he's too young to know more than that I think. I understand he thinks I'm angry and it scares him. I'm scary when angry. There is no doubt about that!
All kids do this. DH and I can still put my 15 year old boy into tears.

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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I asked PN if he understood what I have been saying. I feel so unheard. He wanted to know AGAIN what I mean by space. I've been over it and over it. I got him to think about empathizing and what I have been saying. I'm trying to get him to do the leg work. He said he would try to get out of the house once a week, as he hardly ever goes out. I am sorry to say, but I just saw that as an insult at this point. That and false promises. I have been disappointed so often before, I just don't believe it. He's promised that before even. I guess one thing is he got what I have suggested as far as changing our living situation. I told him I would have to rent a bachelor suite if it doesn't change.
I think a third party, like a councelor might help here. It doesn't look like PN has any concept of what you are trying to tell him. It may take someone else interpreting to get the point across. Dh and I have been having some of those disconnect issues lately and I'm blown away that he now suddenly gets what I have been trying to tell him for 10 years. I didn't say anything differently, but he finally shifted gears in his brain to the correct page in the dictionary or something. It shouldn't have to take 10 years, I think I left dents in the wall from banging my head against it.

I get my personal space when my dh attends one of his volunteer activities. About every other month he takes the Boy Scouts (including both of my boys) camping for the weekend, so even though I love camping, I stay home all by myself . This summer all of them went to summer camp for a week and I counted the days until they left, it was wonderful. We also have a small house and I just have a small corner in our bedroom for my sewing and a workbench in the garage for crafts and other stuff.
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