Meanwhile he got a job driving a taxi, and also kept finding freelance editing work. His wife had been afraid our NRE would interfere with him finding work...
So, I said I forgave him for his mistake early on, and was willing to drive up and meet with both of them. I did that last week and it was great. We had a Chinese lunch, swam in a picturesque small river, had coffee before I left. He and I played it cool. I figured I was auditioning for the role and just was friendly and chatty. Brought them a box of fancy cookies as a hostess gift.
He and I hugged a couple times throughout the day. We hadnt seen each other in 10 months! While we drank coffee in the kitchen, he let his leg touch mine, and when I left he gave me one more big hug and a small french kiss.
So! I thought it went well, hoped I passed the audition.
Silly me. A few days later he imed me and we talked of how great it was to see each other again. While we were chatting, he said his wife came in and was reading over his shoulder. Then she got on, took his place and said she thought I was coming there for "closure", not to pursue a relationship w him. Even tho the IM where he and I discussed still being interested in each other, he had told me he'd c+p it and send it to her and discuss it, seems she didnt get that part. Fuck. Ugh.
We hadnt really discussed poly issues on the "date." At one point he did try to bring it up. When we got out of the river and were drying off, he asked us, so what do you think of this friendship thing? I looked to her and she said, "I havent even been thinking about that. I'm just enjoying the day."
Grrr. So it seems they have very bad communication skills for a poly couple. Even tho he has those 3 other lovers, and has told me he has had a cpl casual sex dates w men just recently, somehow I am damaged goods and she finds me threatening? They had certaibly not rebuilt trust around his earlier mistake. I think he's afraid of her. It's more like she's the mom and he's the bumbling kid, or an unstructured D/s relationship.
It's all just so disappointing.
Dating has become so tiring.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)