Ugh. So frustrating
In spring of 09 I met this guy on okc and we really hit it off. He lives in the next state north of me, about my age, and is bisexual, a bit kinky, and a married poly man. (2nd marriage, only married 5 yrs.) Also quite attractive in a hippyish way, fit, has long hair that looks good on him, great smile, nice teeth. He's literate, works as a copy editor for several book publishers.
We start to chat regularly. He's all cool w me having my gf, and I find out he has 3 lovers besides his wife: a MF couple, and a genderqueer person. They are all long distance relationships.
He and I chat about all different things, our kids are similar ages, so we had that in common. We talk of pagan events, genderqueer issues, and more mundane things.
There's a definite attraction between us, so in October we met. He has a house in a small city and a mobile home he owned from before his marriage. We meet at the trailer. Since we'd known each other months at that point, we eagerly have sex, then go out for a late lunch and a walk in nature.
After our date, i found out he had not yet told his wife about me. Very weird, since they are poly. I just didnt know what to make of that.
So he told her and she flipped and they did some therapy around it all. Then more shit hit the fan. He was laid off from his job, and they told me he had to take a break from seeing me b/c he needed to concentrate on finding more work. They were in danger of losing their house.
So, I let the winter and spring go by. Figuring they worked out the trust issue around his neglecting to tell her about me before our first date.
We had all kinds of ims between the 3 of us. Finally he felt embarrassed he's messed things up from the start, and sent me back earrings I'd left at the trailer on the first date, w a nice note of apology. But he also told me he thought of me often at pagan or queer events they went to. Also, his wife had told me she liked me, and wanted a "grrrl" back in their lives.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 36), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years