Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for your encouragement, GS.
I tend to think my couple should take the lead in how to "do" this "poly stuff", since they're the ones who introduced me to it and both of them were wanting a poly relationship. They've been together for about 2 years, with part of that time with her now ex-husband as a part of their triad. (He ended up going off with a "cowgirl" to be in a mono relationship.) In fairness to them, however, I think the other poly type experiences they've had were quite short term. One woman was married and wasn't being open and honest with her husband about her involvement with my couple. Another one turned out to be another "cowgirl". So, in terms of developing a type of committed poly-family, I guess they haven't had much practical experience.
I think some of it is that one of my concerns in being poly is not having the amount and type of time I'd like with our guy. I've been living on my own for about 8 years now, so I feel particularly "needy" in terms of wanting attention, affection, sex, touch, companionship, etc. I'm not sure I'd want to ever have another guy in addition to our guy. I might be a "mono" with a "poly". Who knows???? I try to be open while remaining true to myself. I'm just not always sure who my "self" is!