Originally Posted by AutumnalTone
Are you getting upset that he's going so fast? If it bugs you that he's going so fast because you feel hurt by it, then there's jealousy involved.
That, however, is not a bad thing. All the jealousy signals is that there's some issue you need to address for his relationship with S to progress. It may simply be that you also require a slower approach. If your concern is solely that he's making D really uncomfortable and that's likely to cause problems, then there doesn't appear to be any jealousy involved.
And, no, it doesn't appear as if you're trying to control his emotions. He can feel whatever he wants. Your concern is with his actions and whether those seem to be working well for you (and the others involved). Feelings are not behavior and asking for restraint on the latter is not necessarily an attempt to control the former.
Sigh.....I can't seem to communicate my feelings very well....Not in writing, not in voice. I honestly hope that some of you may be able to help my wife, because I can't seem to do it alone.
I will mention, that D has never said that I was moving too fast, nor that she was uncomfortable with any of my flirting.
Also, I have agreed to move slower.
However, no matter what I say or do, it appears to me that it is twisted to be bad or be cast in a bad light.
Now, I'm going to stay out of this thread, in the hopes that L can find the answers that she is seeking. The only reasons I will interject, will be to clarify things, which may be mis-represented (whether intentionally or not).
I love my wife.......and if I have to leave the relationship with S &D to keep my wife happy, I will.