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Old 08-17-2010, 09:57 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
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Are you getting upset that he's going so fast? If it bugs you that he's going so fast because you feel hurt by it, then there's jealousy involved.

That, however, is not a bad thing. All the jealousy signals is that there's some issue you need to address for his relationship with S to progress. It may simply be that you also require a slower approach. If your concern is solely that he's making D really uncomfortable and that's likely to cause problems, then there doesn't appear to be any jealousy involved.

And, no, it doesn't appear as if you're trying to control his emotions. He can feel whatever he wants. Your concern is with his actions and whether those seem to be working well for you (and the others involved). Feelings are not behavior and asking for restraint on the latter is not necessarily an attempt to control the former.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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