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Old 08-17-2010, 06:47 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,639
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thanks Mohegan we all think about each other around here don't we? I certainly think about you guys too and send love your way.

@Formerunicorn et al- The thing I have realized of late is just how long and how much I have shuffled my needs to the side. When I reached into myself to find the energy to offer support, there just was none available.... I have been so used up by denying that I need to take care of myself because he isn't going to, that I had nothing to give... I got desperate.

I thought I didn't love him anymore, but when I look at him and when I think of our goals, it's the faith I have lost, not the love. I lost faith that we could be together the way things are, so I decided to change that and make my life my own... its so easy to fall into that in marriage or a long term committed relationship.

It makes me scared though, because I know I am unconventional and that family and others will have an opinion about that. I'm not so good when it comes to people I love being concerned, and having an opinion about stuff. Gossip and drama drive me crazy at the best of times, especially being the brunt of it, which I usually am.

I would like to think it will all be good for me and the others, so I'm trying it out.

@derby- I like your plane analogy. I think you have told me that before and it really resonates with me, thanks.
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