I'm in pain, he's hurting because I'm in pain but I don't want him to have to deal with my pain because he's going through some amazingly good feelings and NRE. I'm thrilled for him.
I'm angry and hurting and pissed off and I don't know how to effectively express that - it has NOTHING to do with him or the relationship he's developing.
But I find myself making snarky remarks about it all - and that's not fair to him, because he's going through some really awesome stuff.
I don't know how to get my needs met without hurting other people right now. I'm effectively shutting things down and stuffing it behind walls. Someone hurt me, through thoughtlessness and insensitivity and I have yet to talk to this person, but it hurts M to see me in such pain.
I don't want him to hurt because I'm hurting, so I hide it.
Stupid fucking circle. I hate it.