View Single Post
Old 08-16-2010, 10:39 PM
idealist's Avatar
idealist idealist is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 545

Welcome and I know you will find some good feedback here!! I agree with some of the others. It's better to be specific. "I need more quality time" doesn't really say anything.

Years ago, I was in a monogamous relationship and we lived together. My partner was expressing dissatisfaction. When pressed for more information, she said "When I come home from work in the evening, you don't even acknowledge my presence." We were in therapy at the time and I remember my therapist pointing out that I had no idea what she wanted. I worked from home and would often be right in the middle of a phone call or immersed in a project when she would come home. Saying "hello" to her and smiling wasn't enough for her. I had no idea how to "acknowledge her presence" and giving a person "more quality time" really doesn't say much either. I was pretty stressed about it.....not having any idea what in the heck to do.

Finally, after talking it over, we agreed that when she came home from work, I would stop what I was doing. Stand up. Walk into the room she was entering. Look at her. Approach her. Smile at her. Hug her. Kiss her. Ask her how her day was. Spend about 5 or 10 minutes with her. Then- she would go about her business and I could return to what I was doing......that was all she really wanted and it was an easy thing to fulfill.

Specifics are always better than vague requests.....good luck!!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
Reply With Quote