I think its really important to remember that generally "rules" are not going to be fair to all involved. "boundaries" create breathing room and are fluid, changable. You can request that she not have another male partner, that can be your boundary, but to make it a rule suggests that there is no negotiating that request. She might even say she doesn't want another man in her life, but when push comes to shove and her time with you is divided with another woman, she may just change her mind to get all her needs met.
I think its important to not get stuck in one definition. You are just figuring it all out, maybe leaving the definitions alone and just figuring out what YOU want and what SHE wants first. Then embrace it and make it your own. Perhaps poly definitions will fit. Perhaps not.
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