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Old 08-16-2010, 09:23 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default A question for "Secondaries"

OK, I know a lot of people have a hard time with labels but I needed to use a title that would be direct enough to capture the right audience.

For any one who is in a relationship with an established couple (i.e. either by family commitment, marriage, co-habitation or long term togetherness) how important is the health and sustainment of that relationship to your own involvement?

What would happen if the "primary" relationship were to change drastically or dissolve?

I personally have "internal" and "external" fears. For example:

If Redpepper and PN were to separate I would have a huge issue with the "external" judgement of others that I ruined their marriage. A very real and fully understandable judgement from my perspective...that's what I would think.

"Internally" I would fear the affects of Redpepper's desire/need to form other relationships. Internally I also would have a hard time accepting that I was indeed not the cause of thier relationship failing. With a past of hurting people such as my own, adding to that bank of guilt is not something I want to do.

Hopefully this question will be answered with other people's perspectives regarding the actual question as opposed to analysis of my own comments.

Peace and Love

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

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